What happened to Self-Love?
Something happened by age five. I don’t know what, but from that age on I was ashamed of who I was. Self-love and self-acceptance were nowhere to be found. Ashamed I was, and the worse it got the the more my belly grew.
Today, my four year old daughter adores my belly. She kisses and drums on it, and thinks it’s the best pillow in the house. But, most of all, she loves to squish it.
I may not be perfect for her all the time, like when I tell her no more Peppa Pig for the evening, but she loves all of me.
What will society do to her perspective of self-love?
As my daughter grows, she’ll be exposed more media than I ever was. A barrage of super slim wanna be social media stars. A relentless parade of impossible images will fill her brain of what it means to be worthy.
But hey, don’t worry, if you can’t get there on your own, there’s always Spanx, liposuction, plastic surgery, and no we’ve got ice sculpting.
My four year old daughter has already expressed fear of a fat belly!
As she grows in this image based society, she’ll have to filter through beliefs and prejudices about people who are over weight. She won’t get that perspective at home, but the culture is strong.
I want her to be healthy in her relationship to her body. I don’t want her to fear it like I did so much of my life. I don’t ever want her to believe that her self-worth is based on the size of her waist.
I was ashamed my belly most of my life.
For the majority of my life I battled with myself. I had been shamed publicly by my father, being introduced as his ,“Iowa corn-fed daughter”. Let me tell you, that does a doozie on your self-esteem. It turned into an out right war that led to starving myself and exercising more, but the belly wouldn’t budge.
Today, I manage my stress. I eat what the body chooses to eat. A diet that is clean, low in carbs (no more mental fog) and lots of glorious fat. My core is rock solid strong, and yet this fluffy layer remains. And you know what? I’m fine with that!
So how can I perfectly of ok with my body now?
The only way out, is to dive in. Yoga, mediation and deep inquiry (lot’s of it).
Yup, I dove in to dark fears of worthlessness and abandonment. Today, I am perfectly ok with me, because I am not the size of my pants. I am a soul, a being of light and love. I am a child of God.
There is nothing I have to do to be worthy of love, I am love.
I live more freely from the heart with joy instead of boxing myself into impossible ideals. I’m still aa work in progress, but man have I come a long way. No more battles. Way more peace!
Do you know what peace is like? It’s very quiet.
Love is the healing balm.
Many people ask me if yoga will help them lose weight. My answer is that when you practice yoga you don’t give a Sh#*!.
Instead you find love, and that unconditional love is the healing balm. Love stops hate in its tacks. Love allows you to come into a balance state that is perfect for you and where you are in this moment.
I didn’t get here over night, and neither will you. But I did decide enough was enough. Take one step at a time no matter how big or small. That’s all that matters. Remember, no one can take that step for you.
So, what’s your first step?
Kimberly Sotelo a being who realizes that her name is not who she is.